Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Joke of the day:
Irish joke
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the
legs of me wife!!!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary,
"I won the prize for the best toast of the night"

She said "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life,
sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled
leeringly and said,
"John won the prize the other night at the pub with
a toast about you, Mary."

She said,
"Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
You know, he's only been there twice in the last four
years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had
to pull him by the ears to make him come."

6 Reasons not to mess with children.

1)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.


The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said...
"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2)

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing. She would
occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said...
"But no one knows wh at God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied...
"They will in a minute."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3)

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father
and thy Mother, she asked....
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4)

The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy
a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you
are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a
lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, she's dead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5)

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said...
"Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as
you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?"

A little fellow shouted.....
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6)

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head
of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate
chip cookies.

A child had written a note...

"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Ahhh!!! I"m in love with Ashley tisdale!! wooohooo ur the BOMB!! *drolls*
Hear her music man! there before this post i put the youtube, the song rox and she rox!!
Ok i'm finding people to fill my heart again, not as in getting a new Gf to kill off the old pain, Finding people to hang out, to care for ea other aiya! you would know wat i mean la. Now single,hmmm people ask me, sooo Asher how is single life now? My answer : Very very Boring and lonely. =P O.o" hitz.fm now is 10.41pm they playing High school musical song,haha. Apparently I want to hear music now on my computer,but my Audio Driver like Just vanish, out of the bluez its Pooof gone!. weird man....Cant find my driver now, sigh suffering, computer without sound is SCARY~ its Silent-ness! *shivers*
Tmrw is Geography in PMR so Good luck pmr student! woo u go! jia you, gambateh.
Ermmm i got nothing else better to do edi. Time to sleep then nite!!!

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